A GentleBirth story for all you gentle mamas and mamas to be!!
!!Warning!!! This will be a lengthy one so you may want to boil the kettle now and get a cuppa on the go.
Our story began in 2013 when we miscarried at 7 weeks; like most things in life it is only until something is taken from you that you then realize how much you want it.
!!Warning!!! This will be a lengthy one so you may want to boil the kettle now and get a cuppa on the go.
Our story began in 2013 when we miscarried at 7 weeks; like most things in life it is only until something is taken from you that you then realize how much you want it.
And so began our path as a couple in their 40’s to begin to have a family. Needless to say, it didn't come easy and after some months of trying we decided to go and get checked out. Have the tests done, just to make sure we were in working order!! That way we would know either way and if it was meant to be it was meant to be. At this stage, although my partner and I were excited to have children we didn't want to put all our eggs in the one basket so to speak and in the 3rd week in June we were informed I had approx 5% of my eggs remaining and we need to seriously consider IVF. Devastated is the only word for it. IVF was not really an option – we didn't have that kind of money and I wasn't sure I had the emotional stamina for it. We were booked for our holiday the next day and decided to shelve it and discuss it more while we were away.
Now, here is where our rainbow baby makes an appearance. Day 2 of holiday and I haven’t had my period. OH is wondering if everything ok?, as am I. My head is racing, it could be the flight, it could be the early menopause, after all I have hardly any eggs left!! So I leave himself by the pool and go to explore, while out I decide to pop into a chemist and get a pregnancy kit - back to the room and hey ho I am “embarazada”. After using google translate I discover I am 2 weeks gone. YEEHA!!
So with trepidation our journey begins…. Jump on to week 24 and I am at pregnancy Yoga class and in comes Bernie Burke of Blissful Bumps and Babies to talk to us about Gentle Birth. I will be honest at the start I was a little sceptical – affirmations pfft, visualization – yeah right!! But a positive role for your birth partner – now THAT caught my attention. Of course, I was in total denial, natural birth scared the hell out of me and I was freaked out by the thoughts of it. That combined with the fact I had never ever been in hospital before – EVER!! But I really liked the idea of my partner having a defined role, a positive active and informed part to play and advocate for me and the baby (this was more for me than him as I am not good at giving up control of something and my fear was I would exclude him from the process as a result. So the workshop was a way of helping us both).
I came home and told him about it. He was very open and encouraged me to book the course – which I did. My CDs and book arrived and I committed 1000% to gentle birth. To be honest I surprised myself how much I really got into it. Bernie was amazing and I loved the course and listening to the CDS. I found myself acting much calmer in work and at home. I had a sense of capability I had never felt before and most importantly I was now excited about giving birth and felt empowered to do it. My whole mental attitude had done a massive u- turn and I was advocating gentle birth to anyone who would listen to me. I would read birth stories on the FB page and then with tears in my eyes hand it over to OH to read; each story confirmed for me the power of natural birth and my ability to do it. Gentlebirth definitely made us a team in this pregnancy and encouraged me to read everything I could about birthing and to be aware of my options.
As the weeks went on I had great enjoyment doing my vision board and preparing for birth, purchasing my tens machine, buying my raspberry tea, my clary-sage oil to burn, almond oil for massage and getting my birth outfit organised. I had my bags packed, bounced on my ball every evening and listened to my tracks whilst falling into a deep and restful sleep.
Jump up to 35 weeks and we head in for a scan – all is fantastic, baby and I are doing great but baby is head up and not head down. Not to worry says my Ob Gyn, plenty of time, baby will probably turn but if not we may be looking at a section. No bloody way is what was going through my head as I was smiling away. I booked in for my acupuncture, got my moxa sticks, checked out spinning babies, headed to my yoga class for some support, booked in with a chiropractor for the Webster tech and of course listened to my gentle birth breech track. All means and methods were used to get this baba moving!!!
In the midst of all this Bernie, had a gentle birth meet up which was just what I needed. I went and had the support of other gentle birth mums and mums to be and Bernie emailed me on articles and information regarding c-sections and breech births etc. Again, GentleBirth was informing me, allowing me to advocate for me and my baby. I was doing my best to keep everything in perspective. I knew I had loads of time for baby to turn but on a level I was struggling. I genuinely felt that if I did not have the natural birth I spent the last few months preparing for mentally and physically then I had somehow failed. In my head I had not really given birth!! Why go through all this training and work so hard to possibly not have that option. My vision board seemed to mock me. I felt the right to birth my baby was being taken away from me even though nothing had been confirmed….yet!! But there were so many voices and opinions and options. I was scared. Natural birth I had prepared for, a section I had not!!
Honestly, it took me those two weeks to get my head into the fact that a c-section is NOT a negative. The issue was me. I had blinkered myself to a natural birth, it was how I had visualized my birth and I was so positive that it was how it was meant to be but in true GentleBirth style you gotta have a plan A, B, C …. And this is real life, plans change, babies can be breech and Moma needs to adjust in a calm and confident way.
Week 37, scan, baby still breech. OB Gyn wants me in at 38 for an elective. That’s a NO!! This baby is fine, healthy and happy. My partner will go along with this but I know he is anxious for us to both be safe and well. Everyone wants this baby out but me!! I manage to hold on till 39+2. I am now listening to my caesarean GentleBirth track which I love. I get it put on in theatre and my partner cannot believe how calm and confident I am going in- very chilled. I totally take it in my stride and in fact relish the challenge that is ahead of me in recovery as I now know I have the “mindfulness” tools to deal with it. We have our caesarean birth plan and the midwife was amazing in terms of following through on it. My Ob Gyn was very supportive throughout the procedure and I have to say at no point did I and do I now have any of those doubts I had previously about giving birth to our beautiful son Harry on the 24th of February at 9.02am. He was a healthy 7lb and 3 oz. We had immediate and continued skin to skin as did my partner as I was brought into recovery. He latched on immediately and I am breast feeding him away. All in the staff in the Rotunda were very supportive and open to GB.
This is our gentle birth story. I didn't get to experience surges or a show or my waters breaking but I did get to grow our baby and bring him into the world gently, calmly and confidently with love. GentleBirth empowered me to do that with belief in myself and my natural ability. I would do it all again in a heartbeat.
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